If we have to wait until everyone on earth is doing well before we can enjoy our lives, we will never enjoy a single second of it.
Does that sound harsh or uncaring? I don’t mean it to be. I mean it as it stands—as a truth—a dark, harsh truth.
We must be allowed to hold joy and sorrow.
We must be allowed to do what we can to make ourselves happy and hold space, help, or care for others in the ways we can, individually.
We must be allowed to enjoy the little things that our capitalist, colonizing, monstrous society has made available to us and care for and about those less fortunate than us simultaneously.
They are not mutually exclusive.
We need to stop blaming the average person for the collapse of global society. Not the Karens or the Magats or the Libtards are to blame. As individuals, we don’t really have the power to make real global change. We can do it if we all work together…who’s in? Fat chance, I know, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could get there someday?
But in the meantime, we must give each other some grace.
We came into this world while people were already suffering, paying a moral debt to a society that had existed long before us, and we had no choice but to join.
Suddenly we’re here now. People are hurting. Historical injustices have carried on for generations before us. Yes, suffering happens here, and it might happen to us too. Whether it’s in big ways or little ways, the chances are high each of us will know pain in this life. Maybe that’s why babies cry when they enter this world.
I have a theory: Wanna hear it?
We all feel the enormity of humanity—good and bad— as we enter the world because we are humanity. We’re all made up of the same cosmic dust. Before we have thought, we have knowing. But we lose that sense of knowing shortly after our brains develop and our circumstances form our beliefs. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get that knowing back. Some people do it with religion, others with crystals. (and every “spiritual practice” in between) We’re all just trying to figure it out. I’ll say it again like a broken record: That alone should unite us all.
But we have lost our ability to give each other grace. In my four decades on this planet, I’ve never seen or felt anything like it. There is contempt in the air. Everyone has chosen a side on a topic, and there is no room for error. From interpersonal relationships to the world beyond our orbit, we’re at each other’s throats (metaphorically).
I remember being a kid and watching Band-Aid and Live-Aid and feeling like the whole world loved each other. Can you even imagine that? Do you remember the last time you felt that? Did you ever? I did, and it was awesome. I’m not naive to think there weren’t sides, turmoil, and division then. But those ideas were kept between people’s friends, family, and neighbors—their chosen communities—NOT THE REST OF THE WHOLE WORLD ALL THE TIME, NONSTOP. I wasn’t exposed to historical and current events outside of my history class or The Nightly News. And those were just FACTS. There wasn’t a debate. There wasn’t this profound distrust of everything around us. There was no such thing as “Fake News.” This stupid banner you can add to anything you disagree with. (Thanks, Trump, you fucking troll.)
It’s no wonder younger millennials, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha seem to be either radical revolutionaries or frivolous. I don’t blame them. They’ve gotten a bad rap. They’re not lazy. They’re disenfranchised, and WHO COULD BLAME THEM?
I have a lot of sympathy for these younger generations. They never got to see a world that collectively rallied around causes and humanitarian issues. The Challenger, AIDS, hunger abroad. These were things I thought we all cared about. Nowadays, even those things and our reaction to them would be picked apart and shredded by opposing views and venom. (I know there were things going on that had been going on that were awful that were ongoing - colonization, genocide, famines, dictatorships. I know.) My point is that my generation didn’t have access to that information like these generations do. Even if we became aware of those things, we were not exposed to everyone’s differences in opinion and vitriol.
But as badly as I feel for them, I’m impressed by how involved they are in trying to change this world they’ve inherited, and I hope they succeed. Yet, it’s quite a burden to put on them. Especially while some of us got to be young and carefree during the best time to be alive. (The 80s and 90s were a fantastic time to grow up. I said what I said.) I wish everyone had a chance to feel optimistic about their future the way we did.
That’s why it’s absurd to me that there are governments making rules about women’s bodies and forcing births while willingly ignoring reality. They’re trying to gaslight us about how important and great it is to perpetuate humanity while actively watching the planet die. Lol. Absurd!
Why WOULD you want to bring another brand-new person full of hopes and dreams here? To the politicians and trad wives who are appalled and baffled as to why hundreds and thousands of birthing humans have chosen NOT to have kids, I say,:: gesticulating wildly:: “Look around!”
The complete and total lack of awareness makes me feel insane.
And I get it. People want families. And people need hope. What else is there? Perhaps happiness requires a level of denial; after all, ignorance is bliss.
The TLDR: Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got, so give them a little grace. Next time some jerk bumps you on the street, or your cousin digs their heels in about a subject they feel strongly about, give them grace. Maybe ask them how they feel, listen to them, and trust what they say is the truth.
And maybe next time you want to write shitty things to a stranger on the internet, don’t. And then spend $8 on a Starbucks Latte if you want because you do deserve a little treat.
As always,
I’m rooting for you and all of us.
Live, laugh, decaf.
Me XO